Toxic Empowerment Culture

Empowerment is a vital part of the massive cultural change going on right now. After centuries of oppression, grassroots level empowerment is leading massive cultural change. That sounds fancy, to bring it down to earth.... Social construct rules have changed from can’t to can and it’s happening across the world. Some places far more than others. “You CAN’T wear that” is morphing into “wear what you want, if there’s a problem, it’s a them problem.” That is a great and powerful thing. It’s also hit the spiritual community – and there are some toxic traits we need to address.

When empowering someone comes above all else, we might be oppressing or even harming others.

Unfortunately I see it very often. An individual shows interest in a skillset, anything from tarot reading to energy healing to straight up spirit possession, and they're encouraged to take and lead it at any cost.  If that doesn’t strike you as dangerous, I strongly encourage further reading and education on spirit work – far outside the scope of my blog.

Empowering someone to pick up a new skill in spiritual practice should look similar to picking up a new skill in the medical field. If you want to be a medical biller, you go to school and learn coding. You want to be a brain surgeon, you’re studying for years before you even get to watch a surgery. Then you watch for a long-ass time before you practice WITH supervision. It may very well be a decade or longer before a new surgeon gets to work on a brain. Likewise, if you want to do the possession stuff safely, it may very well be a decade of learning before you’ll do so safely (and there are always high risks, just as with brain surgery).
Many people will stick with “simpler” work. Just as there are risks with “simpler” medical practices, there are risks with “simpler” spiritual workings. Crystals and tarot have risks. Just because the stone is shiny and “purdy” does not mean it cannot screw with your energy. Additionally, we live in a world that is embracing crystals more and more but not starting with acknowledging how you feel energy. The baseline of how you feel energy changes depending on how you feel. Stressed? Tired? Excited? Horny? That all impacts how you feel energy. All this will impact how you interact with any given crystal. If you’re not attuned to yourself first, you won’t know how you’re interacting, energetically, with any given stone. A lot of words, no? It’s not as simple as going into a spooky store, seeing what catches your eye and picking it up. It’s also not as simple as what “calls to” you. I get scam calls all the time, and so do you. Car’s warranty? If you’re not attuned to yourself, being “called to” a stone, deck of cards, incense… might not be a good phone call.

We, as a society, are so busy breaking chains of oppression that we’re educating people on step 5 and not step 1. “Just go and feel what tarot deck calls to you!” isn’t bad advice for someone who’s already done a few steps. The reason why there is an old rule of “You need to be gifted your first tarot deck” was that you weren't ready for it until someone in a mentorship position saw that you were ready. It was a safety feature, not a means of oppression. Most people don’t have spiritual mentorship anymore. A sad reality of traditions dying and coming back. The rule of being gifted is no longer applicable, in most situations, because there isn’t a mentor that has watched you grow up. That rule is from when families had linaged traditions and an elder in the family would gift you an heirloom deck. This was done after them having done their own divination on if you’re ready and which deck would suit you. Often also discussed between multiple mentors/family members. We don’t live in a world like that anymore. We’re random people hearing the cry of our spirit allies and doing our best.

So how do we empower one another without oppressing them?
First, stay in our own lanes. When I saw an event inviting anyone to try and be possessed, my kneejerk reaction was to tell people this is dangerous and not to go. I have no relationship with the host, or anyone going. I saw it on social media. If I knew the host, I would privately talk to them and ask what safety plans are in place – in the attempt to start a conversation on that very topic: safety. We cannot gatekeep fences that arn’t ours. If we do, not only do we potentially oppress others, we center ourselves in many situations that we really shouldn't be in.

Secondly, we need to build the infrastructure back up to have mentors. REAL mentors. Not Sarah on tiktok who has been practicing for two and a half months, teaching people how to do distance reiki. A real mentor will check where you’re at. Can you ground? What do you ground into? Where do your grounding lines come out of your body? How do you feel various energies? Are they hot? Cold? Heavy? Light? Sticky? Slimey? Smooth? Hard? Soft? Can you see in your mind? Can you smell in your mind? What about hearing? What spirit allies do you already have? These are all very basic questions that any legit mentor will work to find out. If you’re considering apprenticing under a mentor and they DON’T check those, you’re not safe because they’re not checking your foundation. If you don't build on a solid foundation, the building will at some point collapse. Unfortunately, no, your intuition won’t obviously tell you. Not if you don’t know what it sounds like. That work has to be done first.

The beneficial aspect of empowerment culture should be fairly clear. Empowering people seems like it has no downside, but everything does. Everything has a harm to it and even more so when out of moderation. Empowerment in neopagan circles is out of moderation. Empowering someone to attempt a highseat ritual, without any knowledge of their background, is dangerous to all involved. Any energy work, any spirit work we do, involves risks. Even more so when done in groups, and even more so when done in public group work. If someone is leading a public ritual, there needs to be a ritual team knowledgeable and capable of handling energy, spirits, medical situations and physical threats. What if someone has a seizure during the ritual? How does that impact the ritual itself? These are things we need to start putting into our practices. Not only for our sake, but for the sake of the communities of which we are a part.